Pushing The Barrier

How do you know if you're a pirate? You just argh! They didn't get any better than that the whole time we were at sea.

It appeared the only way to escape just how toss England are at cricket was to go on a boat for a few days around the Whitsundays. The Anaconda 3 was graced with our presence as we set off on treacherous seas to avoid falling off the edge of the world, drink rum, walk ten paces left and four to the right, find where the X marks the spot and dig for the treasure. Unfortunately there was none of that. Turned out the only treasure was the set of jewels on this German bird. The weather did start off slightly treacherous though with Tom turning a shade of green usually reserved for baby poo. It had settled by the second day and we were soon doing what I'd set out to do - swim on the Great Barrier Reef.

We had paid extra cash upfront for a three night tour instead of the usual two nighter. They used the extra time to take us right out to the outer reef. There is a flag there to mark the spot. A bit like the north pole but in the sea, and it's not a pole and is no way near the north. Infact there's really no similarity whatsoever apart from it serves as some kind of marking device. Anyway, there was no land in site, just pure ocean. So out we jumped, into the reef to swim with sharks and scary looking fish. Another world wonder off the list. Another day I'll never forget. Tick box.

It was all going swimmingly (get it?) until the inevitable happend. I knew it was coming. It seems that you can't get on a boat without having this conversation:

"Can you remember Pugwash with Master Bates and Seaman Stains?"

"Those characters didn't exist."

"Yeah they did, the BBC got away with it for years. There was Roger the cabin boy too."

"It's an urban myth."

"It's not 'cos my mate Tony knows this guy from down the Queens (the same guy who shagged Madonna before she was famous) and he's got an episode on video."

"Is it a pirate video?" Haha, get it? I just thought of that.

Still, great times. Then it was back to Airlie Beach for our after boat party. What did I see as soon I stepped off the boat? 107 all out. Streuth almighty.