Alice? Alice? Where The F*ck Is Alice?
So into the desert we drove on a 3 day, 2 night journey to the geographical heart of Aus - Alice Springs.
The first lunch we stopped off at some ranch in the middle
of nowhere. The guys said they would get their snakes out for us after lunch (that's snakes, Greame Norton, not penises), so me and Tom went into a hut to make a cup of tea. As I was adding my one sugar and little bit of milk Tom said "you do know where we are don't you?" I didn't need to turn around to know that I was in a long, thin situation where I didn't want to be. The guys got them out and we all watched a python eat a live rat. Now there's something you don't see everyday.
Back on the bus Laurie the driver had become an instant legend and we were meeting some really top people. The scenery was also spot on. This was the Australia I had wanted to see the most. Vast expanses of straight roads surrounded by desert. I slept, read, listened to m
usic, watched films, had a laugh. Infact, throw a guitar and a naked girl into that list and you've pretty much got the 7 things I live for!
The first night we stayed at a real outback place. One pub, one shop, a couple of Aboriginies getting abused by the locals. We all ended up skinny dipping in the pool where I met a local lad called Dave who spent 45 minutes explaining how to catch a bull. This is his job. I asked if he could envisage himself doing this for the rest of his life and he sa
id "oh no, no, one day I'll move onto Buffalo." Literally, almost in a sitcom moment, as soon as I pulled the covers back to get into bed the alarm went off. I brushed my teeth and crawled back onto the bus.
We saw the Devil's Marbles and some scary 'Wolf Creek' style places where plenty of 'missing' signs started to appear. We saw some aboriginal artwork, which, if truth be told, wouldn't have made it onto Tony Hart's gallery. Honestly, Morph could have done better. Before long we hit Alice. She was annoying us anyway. Nah, I mean we'd arrived in Alice Springs.
The first lunch we stopped off at some ranch in the middle
of nowhere. The guys said they would get their snakes out for us after lunch (that's snakes, Greame Norton, not penises), so me and Tom went into a hut to make a cup of tea. As I was adding my one sugar and little bit of milk Tom said "you do know where we are don't you?" I didn't need to turn around to know that I was in a long, thin situation where I didn't want to be. The guys got them out and we all watched a python eat a live rat. Now there's something you don't see everyday.Back on the bus Laurie the driver had become an instant legend and we were meeting some really top people. The scenery was also spot on. This was the Australia I had wanted to see the most. Vast expanses of straight roads surrounded by desert. I slept, read, listened to m
usic, watched films, had a laugh. Infact, throw a guitar and a naked girl into that list and you've pretty much got the 7 things I live for!The first night we stayed at a real outback place. One pub, one shop, a couple of Aboriginies getting abused by the locals. We all ended up skinny dipping in the pool where I met a local lad called Dave who spent 45 minutes explaining how to catch a bull. This is his job. I asked if he could envisage himself doing this for the rest of his life and he sa
id "oh no, no, one day I'll move onto Buffalo." Literally, almost in a sitcom moment, as soon as I pulled the covers back to get into bed the alarm went off. I brushed my teeth and crawled back onto the bus.We saw the Devil's Marbles and some scary 'Wolf Creek' style places where plenty of 'missing' signs started to appear. We saw some aboriginal artwork, which, if truth be told, wouldn't have made it onto Tony Hart's gallery. Honestly, Morph could have done better. Before long we hit Alice. She was annoying us anyway. Nah, I mean we'd arrived in Alice Springs.
This was some of the best days I'd spent in Aus. I loved it. Yet it was in Alice Springs that my life would change forever...
posted by Paul 'Jeb' Hoskin at 6:29 PM
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